It was a bright, sunny, fall day in Knoxville, TN in 1992 that I stood staring out the window of my doctor’s office at the clear, blue sky and the sloping mountains in the distance, trying to take in what was the worse, most frightening news I thought I could ever hear.   My doctor had just confirmed what was suspected to be a malignant tumor in my colon.  Cancer, I thought.  How could this be happening after all I had just been through with the auto accident where I was nearly killed?  I had survived the accident with residual physical damages to my body, along with the pain and agony of post traumatic stress disorder, but I thought I was really beginning to get back on my feet, now this!  How in the world would I ever be able to tell my children their mother had cancer?  Just the word cancer is frightening… downright scary in fact.

My story has a happy ending though.  The initial shock took some time getting used to, but what is so amazing is that I immediately turned to the Chief Architect of my being.  After all, He had kept me around for some reason.  So I knew that He had not brought me this far to leave me now.  During my many conversations with God, I learned what total submission truly means.  I also learned that some degree of suffering reaps great rewards that bring us to a place where God can truly use us.  You see, I thought that God and I had it “going on,” so to speak, and we did.  All of my life I had been active in church and spiritual in my approach to life in general.  But apparently I was just not quite where He needed me to be. 

 GETTING OVER THE INITIAL SHOCK...

Paul and Peter’s letters to the churches refer to “diverse” circumstances as tests and trials.  So I began to look at my life and my purpose differently.  Through various trials and tests I am now able to “joyfully” see that something good comes from what we consider bad experiences.  I have become more useful to God as an instrument through which I can comfort others and help them move to a “higher level” of usefulness in advancing God’s Kingdom on earth.  I think this is what my cousin has in mind in challenging us to “upgrade our belief systems to a higher level.”  Real suffering leads to total submission (total helplessness, dependent on no one but God) in order to receive all the benefits of God’s love, grace and mercy.  We persevere through trials and sufferings with the knowledge that the purpose is to advance God’s plan for His people.  These are the “thoughts that God has for us.”  When we look at it from this angle we emerge with a strength that cannot be measured.  ^“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”  1 Peter 4:12-13  Think on these things. 

Be eternally blessed as you strengthen your focus on totally submitting yourself to God and the plans He has for you.  Always know that I love you very much.  Please continue to remember the bereaved and families in crisis, our nation and leaders and world peace in your prayers.  abp